You Better Not Pout
by BelStar
Summary: Prior to becoming a Brady, young Jan Martin has one or two bumpy rides to deal with. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

December 1967

"Now Jan, are you quite sure about seeing Santa?"

"Yes, Mommy". As nine year old Jan Martin stood in line in the department store with her Mother and her sister Cindy, she thought about what she would say to Santa when her turn came. She was wearing her prettiest blue coat, and she had brushed her hair that morning till it shone. She turned the phrase over and over in her head.

"Please, Santa, I would like you to bring my Daddy back".

She had to do it, because it was her fault that her Daddy was gone. Last Christmas Eve seemed like such a long time ago now but Jan could still remember every detail of those strange and dark couple of hours. And she had thought it was the most amazing moment of her life …

December 24th 1966

"Marcia, I think I just heard Santa Claus!"

Jan had just been awakened by a noise downstairs. She was excited now as she whispered across to her sister but Marcia just rolled onto her front and covered her head with her arms. Jan quickly glanced at the clock above Cindy's bed. 11 o'clock at night! "It doesn't matter" murmured Jan to herself, getting out of bed. "I'll just see Santa on my own". She hurried downstairs in her pajamas.

The living room at the front of the house was still lit by the dwindling fire her parents had left burning in the fireplace. Though the light of the fire was dim, she could see the stockings she and her sisters had hung from three nails on the wooden mantelpiece – and they were stuffed with toys, books and candy. And who was that, shuffling towards the living room door under the weight of a heavy sack? "Santa!" gasped Jan, as the figure turned round to look at her. Yes, he had a long white beard, and a red and white suit and hat. "Jan", he replied in a low voice, "you weren't supposed to see me".

"I know kids aren't supposed to see Santa but I won't tell anybody, I promise", whispered Jan. "Wow, you've got an army kit-bag, just like my Daddy had in Korea". Then all of a sudden, another thought struck her. "Did you get me a Barbie doll like I asked for in my letter?"

"Have a look in your stocking", the familiar figure replied as he headed into the entrance hall. "Goodnight now, Jan Martin". Jan hurried over to where her stocking was hung and seized it down. Sitting cross-legged on the rug in front of the fire, she could see she'd been given candy canes, chocolate guardsmen … and a slim cardboard box, with the highly coveted Barbie gazing out through a clear plastic panel. "Oh Barbie, I'm so lucky", crooned Jan to the doll, as she began to free it from the packaging. "I got to see Santa on Christmas Eve". She began to sing. "Sleigh bells ring, la la la la" … Any minute now, she would hear the sleigh bells tinkle as Santa flew up into the sky with his reindeer. But instead she heard the familiar sound of the Martin family Chevrolet as it backfired. In that moment, Jan got to her feet and, leaving Barbie behind, ran over to the front door, realising that something was appallingly wrong. The car was speeding away as she opened the door, with the army kit-bag strapped to the roof rack. Slamming the door behind her, she ran back into the house and up the stairs to her parents' bedroom, screaming "I want my Daddy" as she ran into the dimly- lit room. The shocked, tearful faces of her Mother and older sister were there to greet her.

"Jan, your Father's left us", said Carol, who was sat up in bed. "He didn't even say goodbye", sobbed Marcia, who was sat next to her, "he just left Mommy a note". A confused and sleepy- looking Cindy stumbled into the room. "Cindy, Daddy ran away from us", cried Jan, who was also in tears. "He dressed up as Santa Claus and he took all his things away in his army bag!" She threw herself on the foot of the bed and started crying even harder.

December 1967

"I'm going to ask Thanta for a doll'th pram and a bithycle with thtabilizerth and a …"

"Cindy, Santa won't give you anything if you're greedy", admonished Carol, "and none of that sticking out your lower lip". Jan was trying not to cry now as she thought of the night her father had left them. Reflecting upon that Christmas Eve, she could scarcely believe he had played her such a mean trick, or that she had fallen for it. Well, this was her chance to make it up to her mother and sisters. She was on her way to meet the real Santa Claus now, and he would make everything alright.

"Little girl with the long hair".

"He's calling you, Jan", smiled Carol. He had to be the real Santa; he looked so old, not like her Daddy. Jan marched right up to him.

"Come up and sit on Santa's knee", he told her, and she settled herself down on her lap as Carol smiled again and nodded. "What's your name little girl?"

"Jan Martin", said Jan.

"And what would you like for Christmas?" Jan knew now she would be wasting her time asking to have her Daddy back.

"I'd like a new Daddy".


	2. Chapter 2

"Well, Jan Martin, it seems like these days I get asked that question a lot".

"Can you get me a new Daddy?"

The old man sighed, and looked over to where Carol and Cindy were watching. "Is that your Mommy and your sister?" Jan nodded.

"Why don't you ask your Mommy if she'd like a new Daddy for you? I expect she'd have a lot to say on the matter".

"I guess".

"And it looks like your sister would like to tell me what she'd like for Christmas. Why don't you get down now, and write me when you've talked it over with her and your Mother?" Jan nodded, and slid off the old man's lap with a grin. Cindy seemed so eager to tell Santa Claus all of the gifts she wanted. Carol was holding out her arms now, and Jan rushed to hug her.

"I was really quite glad you said that, Jan", Carol told her middle daughter. "It's been something I was turning around in my mind, and I think it'd be nice for us all to have another man around".

"I've just thought, though, Mommy", said Jan, looking dismayed. "Marcia might not like a new Daddy". Marcia had not accompanied them to see Santa because she considered herself too old.

"It's nothing more than a notion", said Carol decidedly, "but we'll run it past her and Cindy, and we'll take it from there".

Luckily, both Marcia and Cindy approved of the plan, such as it was. However, for the three girls, taking it to the next level became something of a project. All of them received new stationery for Christmas, and they spent a lot of time writing down ideas for finding their mother a new husband. "I'll tell you what my biggest worry is", Carol told Marcia and Jan. "I had such a hard time giving birth to Cindy that the doctor told me I shouldn't have any more babies. If I marry a new husband, then he's probably going to want me to give him children of his own, and then where will we be?"

"I'd quite like the chance of having more sisters, or even brothers", Marcia said thoughtfully, "but I don't like the idea of having a baby in the house".

"It's Catch-22", commented Jan in what she hoped sounded like a wise voice.

"Mommy, I know where the Lonely Hearts adverts in the Daily Chronicle are", Jan told Carol a few weeks after Christmas. "Maybe you should try looking in there".

With Jan's help, Carol located the adverts, and started looking through them. There were very few that caught her eye, until she came across an advert with the heading 'Four for the Price of One!'

"I must say, that is intriguing", murmured Carol. She read on. 'Widowed professional with three sons seeks 30+ female. Serious offers only, but must know how to have fun!'

"Okay, widowed professional, you're on", she said, putting a ring around the advert. A man with children of his own was less likely to start wanting babies, and three boys would be enough to carry on the family name, whatever that may be. She started drafting a reply.

'Dear Mr Whoever You Are,

'I also have three children, along with a divorce which is about to become final. I propose a gathering of the tribes at the children's section of Hennessy's Book Emporium on Saturday February 3rd around 10 am. Just in case you have trouble spotting me, I will be the blonde wearing …' Carol stopped for a moment. What items of clothing did she possess that would help her stand out?

'A turquoise hat'. That was it. 'Yours in anticipation, Carol Martin'


	3. Chapter 3

'Dear Mrs Martin,

'Hennessy's sounds great. We will be there 10 am sharp. I will be the tall, dark-haired man wearing a purple tie. Yours also in anticipation, Mike Brady'

The type-written note had been forwarded from the Daily Chronicle. Carol and the girls were excitedly passing it around the breakfast table.

"Oh Mommy", Jan exclaimed, "Mr Brady's going to be tall, dark and handsome!"

"Groovy", said Cindy.

"You mean he is tall, dark and handsome", corrected Marcia.

"Well, he could turn out to be tall, dark and ugly", Carol warned them. "Don't get your hopes up too soon, we're going to be looking at books, not wedding dresses".

None of this stopped the girls from kicking each other under the table and grinning.

On the morning of February 3rd, Carol put on her turquoise hat; and the Martins were at the children's section of the bookstore before 10 am. A number of other customers were there and, as the girls settled down together with a pile of books, Carol kept a sharp look-out for the dark-haired man in a purple tie. At 10 am on the dot, a man with three sons wandered into the department. Carol was pleased to notice that he fitted the bill as far as tall, dark and handsome was concerned; and the boys appeared to be at similar ages to her daughters. Plus, the man was wearing a purple tie, and a very smart one at that. Stepping out into the main aisle, she noticed that the eldest boy seemed to be leading his father in her direction. Carol stepped forward and held out her hand.

"Mr Brady? I'm Carol Martin".

"Good morning, Carol Martin", said the man, shaking her hand as the two younger boys giggled. "I don't believe I've had the pleasure of making your acquaintance".

"Oh, I'm so sorry; I think I have the wrong person".

"Um … pardon me for asking, but you're not one of those Mormon missionaries, are you?" asked the man.

"Dad, you can't ask a perfect stranger if she's a moron", exclaimed the oldest boy in exasperation. "Mrs Martin, my name is Greg Brady", he went on, shaking Carol's hand vigorously, "and this is my father, Mike, and these are my brothers, Peter and Bobby". Carol shook hands with the two younger boys. Peter grinned enthusiastically, while Bobby gave a shy smile. "It's very nice to meet you all", said Carol.

"Greg", said Mike in a cautious tone, "I hate to have to ask you this, but were you, by any chance, expecting Mrs Martin to be here?"

"Kinda", replied Greg, squirming. Then, with an air of resignation, he continued, "Mrs Martin, I was the one who put the advert in the Lonely Hearts column, not Dad. And I typed the note saying about the purple tie and …"

"I was wondering why you were so insistent about me wearing this tie at breakfast, not to mention coming over to Hennessy's so early", stated Mike. "You're getting to be quite the precocious one, if you don't mind me saying so. I think you and I need to have a word". Mike led Greg into a quieter part of the store. Meanwhile, little Bobby was gazing up at Carol with an anxious expression. "Where's Peter?" he asked, with his bottom lip wobbling.

"My goodness, he isn't here", said Carol. "I'll tell you what, why don't you stand on this bookcase and see if you can see him?" Bobby nodded, and Carol helped him climb up on top of one of the four foot high bookcases. "There he is!" shouted Bobby. "Peter, come over here! Greg's gotten into trouble with Dad!"

"I've been all round the kids' department", yelled Peter, hurrying back over to them as Carol helped Bobby down. "Is that so", said Carol, "well, Peter Brady, you just wait here until your Father gets back with Greg". I certainly wasn't banking on this for a first date, she thought.

Just then, Mike returned with his eldest son, who was looking extremely sheepish. "Mrs Martin", he told Carol, "Greg has something he'd like to say to you".

Carol looked at Greg. "Mrs Martin, I'm sorry for causing so much trouble, and for embarrassing you", he said, "and I'm sorry you brought your own children to the store for nothing".

"Mrs Martin came to the store with her own children?" exclaimed Mike. "Well, wherever are they?"

"I'll take you over to them", said Carol, leading the way. "Neat-o!" exclaimed Peter, as the four Bradys followed her. "Just as long as they aren't those three prissy blonde girls I saw reading all about BALLET DANCING!"

Marcia looked up from the book about Margot Fonteyn she had been poring over with her sisters and fixed Peter with her iciest glare.


	4. Chapter 4

"But I don't want a milkshake, I want ithe-cream", whined Cindy.

"All of us are having milkshakes", said Greg in disgust.

"And you better not pout like that", added Peter.

"Fine, then, we won't pout", said Jan, thumbing her nose at him instead.

The Brady and Martin families were heading over to Grotto Italia, a fancy cafe near the bookstore after Mike offered to buy everyone milkshakes to make up for the wasted morning. However, the initial feeling of antipathy between Peter and Marcia was fast spreading to all the children. Greg, Peter and Bobby all thought the girls were too stuck-up, while Marcia, Jan and Cindy thought the boys needed to learn some manners. Carol found it hard to remember a more awkward situation.

They were all sitting at a large table now. Marcia was seated across from Greg; next to them, Jan was seated across from Peter; and Cindy was across from Bobby, with Carol and Mike at either end. They were the only customers in the cafe, and all eight of them were sipping their milkshakes in complete silence. The place was cold, and there was something of an echo in the room.

Well, this is silly, thought Carol. None of us have to be here. Perhaps she could just 'remember' an appointment she and the girls had to keep, and the four of them could leave. "Kids, I'd like to like to speak with Mrs Martin alone for a minute, if you'll excuse us", Mike announced.

"Sure", replied Marcia.

Mike led Carol outside the café, closing the door behind him. "Mrs Martin … actually, can I call you Carol?"

"Go right ahead", she told him.

"Carol, I can't help thinking that if we hadn't met under such terrifically awkward circumstances, we could really have hit it off. I mean, you've been really good humored about the entire situation, and you handled the boys very well. Added to that, my firm is holding a Valentine's Day dance, and I think you'd be a fantastic date".

"Well, goodness knows I'm not doing anything else for Valentine's", replied Carol. "And at least I know you're the friendly type. You know what, Mr Br-, Mike, I think I will be your date".

Meanwhile, the children were still sipping their milkshakes in the same deathly hush. Peter stuck the tip of his tongue out then quickly drew it back in as Jan glanced up at him. Marcia and Greg wouldn't even acknowledge each other. Bobby stared at the table while Jan stared her glass. Without paying attention to what she was doing, Cindy blew bubbles loudly into her milkshake, suddenly breaking the silence and causing her glass to overflow. The bubbling sound echoed around the room. As the shake trickled down the side of the glass, Greg and Marcia's eyes met, and Peter, Jan and Bobby's faces lit up. The five older kids found they couldn't contain themselves – they burst into laughter.

"What'th tho funny?" asked Cindy, in a petulant tone. This just set the other children off again.

"You are", hooted Greg. "Hey, look at this", said Peter. He blew into his milkshake as Cindy had done, causing the milk to froth up and spill over. This time, as the milk ran down, he lapped it up from the sides of the tall glass before it could reach the table. The other kids were in hysterics at this – even Cindy was laughing by this time.

"Peter, that certainly isn't becoming", said Marcia in a prim and proper voice, pretending to scold him. The Brady and Martin children erupted with laughter once again. "It's not becoming to a Brady", howled Peter. Bobby was laughing so hard, he made milk come out of his nose.

"Did someone open up a can of laughing gas?" asked Mike, who had just come in with Carol.

"Cindy did!" chorused Marcia, Jan and the boys.


	5. Chapter 5

April 1969

"I think that's all we'll do once we become a family", said Greg to Jan. "Laugh at each other". Mike and Carol had just got engaged, and they were throwing a party to celebrate. It made Greg and Jan think of the time their families had first met, and all the events, sad and happy, which had led up to it. Now they were sitting together on the Bradys' kitchen floor, hidden away from all the hustle and bustle.

"That sure was a funny day", sighed Jan. "You don't think anything bad will happen, do you?" she continued, starting to sound anxious. "I've never told this to anyone but it's my fault our old Daddy left us".

"How come?" asked Greg.

"He snuck out of the house dressed as Santa Claus", said Jan, looking pale, "and I was there and I didn't stop him 'cause I was too busy with my Barbie that I got in my stocking", she continued, bursting into tears. Greg was feeling self-conscious as he put his arms around her but Jan carried on crying. "I was just selfish and greedy", she sobbed into his chest. Greg wanted it all to stop. This was a party, and Jan's face was red and she was wetting his shirt. For goodness' sake, she was going to be a Brady soon. It wasn't as if it was becoming.

"Oh Jan, sure you weren't selfish and greedy", he said to her. "I mean, you were doing what all kids do at Christmas time. Your Dad probably just managed to distract you. And anyway", he said, suddenly holding her away from him and staring into her eyes, "it's not as if you'd want someone like that to stay around. I mean, what kind of a Dad was he, if he ran out on you on Christmas Eve?" Greg was starting to cry himself now.

Jan was still sobbing hard, but she knew that he was right. She hadn't realized that Alice, the Brady's housekeeper, had just come in. Alice was thunderstruck at the idea of a father leaving his children on Christmas Eve but Greg was relieved to find that she kept her cool. "Something tells me you might like to come and see my bathroom and bedroom", she told the still-crying Jan. "And then we can wash your face and you can lie down for a while". Alice helped her to bathe her face in cold water and then encouraged her to lie down on the bed. Jan fell asleep almost immediately.

Greg was still on his own in the kitchen when Alice called to him softly. "Come and look at her, Greg, she's sound asleep". Alice led him through to her bedroom, where Jan was now sleeping peacefully. Greg wiped a final tear from his eye. "I was saying to Jan I thought that all we'd do when we became a family was laugh at each other. But I guess we wouldn't be a family if we didn't cry with each other too every now and again".

"I think you're quite right", said Alice.


End file.
